We Lost

Damn it.

It didn't take long.

I arrived in Erie late Wednesday. Earlier that day, Trace had an incredible rally. She was alert and funnier than hell. She told mom: "My ass is killing me..." (even she caught the irony in that). It was an amazing gift!

By Thursday, when I was able to visit, she was already in a deep sleep -- a result of the pain (or 'no pain') meds. They had stopped the chemo meds earlier in the week. On Friday when we visited, she was "still sleeping." That's when I decided to hold her hand and let her know I was there with her. And she knew. I'm certain.

Early Saturday morning, she slipped away. Peacefully. A journey's end. Almost scripted.

Tracy brought our family together in a way she'll never know. It was a lasting gift to all of us.

I hope she'll visit someday. Butterfly?

I'm watching for you! I love you, auntie. Thanks for the gifts.

Still Mad

Nancy (my mom), Carla, Tracy, and Amy

Mad At Cancer UPDATE: I thought I lost this photo, but unearthed it from a hidden cyberfile.

I dubbed it "Loper Girls." Even though, technically none of us are Lopers, we will always be Loper Girls. And, as you may know, those who try to interfere will be dubbed "interLopers!" Cancer included.

Keep praying.

MAD AS HELL at Cancer

I just picked up the Connecticut Post and saw a teaser headline above the page 1 fold: Officer Loses Battle with Cancer. Jay Silva was a beloved Shelton cop and the son of Todd's one-time boss, Joe Silva. Pancreatic cancer took him yesterday. This news comes only a couple weeks after we lost Ed, Todd's dad, to lung cancer that had spread numerous places throughout his body. I can't say this any other way: Cancer Sucks.

I'm off to Erie to be with my family as my dear aunt, Tracy, (blog id: Girl with a Pink Ribbon) fights cancer like hell. No one deserves to get breast cancer at age 39. We were lucky. She beat the first round and got a few extra years. But it came back, and this time with a vengeance like no other.

I don't get (or stay) angry about too much. But today, especially, I'm pissed at cancer.

Please pray for Tracy.