Cocktail Party Conversation, Part I

When there's a lull in the conversation at your upcoming holiday party, here's a story you can tell about one of your whacky friends...


Earlier this week, I took a trip to nowhere.

Here's why: It's November, and my Delta SkyMiles account is incredibly close to the next elite status level, but still a few miles short. Status is based on actual miles flown in a calendar year(not credit card miles or any other bonus miles). This year's actual miles flown earn status for all of next year. It's different than total mileage balance -- where I have still a huge amount of credit. Mileage balance gets you free tickets, but status gets you SO much more.

With elite status, baggage fees (and most other fees) are waived, you get priority boarding and baggage handling, can bypass security lines in most airports (except Hartford, which really bothers me), get free or discounted lounge access and -- perhaps most significant -- get automatic priority upgrades from coach to first.

I've enjoyed status with Delta for almost 15 years, and I'm fortunate to get upgraded on almost every flight I take (which is a lot). Upgrades used to mean just priority boarding (guarantees overhead bin space) and a roomier seat, but with the airlines charging for everything now, being upgraded means even more. First class passengers don't have to pay for blankets or pillows (up to $7 on most airlines), headphones for the movie (a bargain at $2--and only if you don't have your own), food (Delta offers a full menu starting at $2 for a bag of peanut M&Ms), and drinks ($7 in coach vs. free and free-flowing in First).

So now, back to my trip to nowhere. I was about 1,200 miles short of achieving status, with no further travel plans through December. I realized this a few weeks back. So I found a hole in my schedule and started searching for farthest-and-cheapest-flights. Don't believe what you read about ticket prices. I found a round trip from Hartford (cheaper parking than my New York airport options) to Phoenix for $138, so I booked it.

My plan was to depart Hartford 3:00 p.m. on Monday, connect through Atlanta, and arrive Phoenix 9:30 p.m. Then I had a 3 hour layover and a 12:30 a.m. red-eye back through Atlanta, delivering me back to my short-term parked car promptly at 10:00 a.m. Tuesday. It was a BRILLIANT plan that would earn me free pillows for all of 2009.

That insanity, in and of itself, should give you at least one good cocktail party conversation this holiday season...